I very suddenly just realized that I've lost myself and it's time for me to get me back.
It was a very busy fall, which came after a busy summer. My work days and work weeks have been longer because I've just been trying so hard to keep up. I seem to regularly be working 8 am to 7 pm, plus at least one day on the weekends. I'm chasing the idea that I'll actually achieve a point of being "caught up." With doctor appointments, family commitments, and just generally needing time to do laundry and eat on top of my work schedule, I haven't had much time to be social, or read a book, or make a phone call just to say hello. I miss cooking. I miss baking. I miss watching football. I miss dancing like crazy to a jukebox that my friends and I have dominated.
My solution to the problems are:
1. Leave work by 5:30 p.m. at least 3 days a week.
2. I will not work on the weekend unless I am on trial.
3. When my friends ask me to go out, "I really just need a night in" will be the occasional answer, not the usual one.
These rules won't last forever, but I think I need them at least until mid-January, when shit hits the fan all over again.
I baked a double batch of snickerdoodles last weekend. This weekend, I think it's going to be rugelach and peanut butter chocolate bars. This week I hope to push out some florentines and some sugar cookies. If nothing else, baked goods will motivate my friends to come find me, which is the beginnings of a renewed social life.