Thursday, March 01, 2007

why I love being an attorney

1) I had an altercation with a client in the hallway of the courthouse today. After I spoke with her, her parents spoke with me separately, discussing their concerns regarding her legal interests and mental health. The entire time I was speaking to her parents, I was doing all I could not to openly gawk at the necklace that my client's father was wearing. He was wearing the largest gold figurine of a woman receiving oral sex from a man that I have ever seen. It's probably the only gold configuration of people having oral sex that I've ever seen, but it was larger than I would have imagined such a thing would be, if you had described it to me. And it was hanging from his neck on a chain.
2) I was speaking with a client about a domestic argument that escalated into threats being thrown back and forth, and while explaining what happened he said, "You know, it was like, [insert client singing first few sentences of female pop song here]. Like that." Please imagine yourself in my shoes, my suit, my briefcase, my courthouse, in this conversation, and having your male client unexpectedly belt out a pop song as a way of describing how he came to be arrested. Quite accurate, but unexpected nonetheless.
This is the best freakin' job in the world.

7 comments:

Tom said...

I can't believe that dude has my necklace.

Lyco said...

I can't stop trying to guess what those lyrics were.. there are so many great choices..

Scoplaw said...

I have the matching belt buckle. I've worn it to all my interviews thusfar and it's only gotten compliments.

Sanchovilla said...

Oh how I wish you had been carrying a cellphone camera...

Sanchovilla said...

I couldn't let it go...would it by any chance be this one?

http://www.devioustoys.com/sp2b.jpg

I'm sorry...I just like to really challenge myself and I have a low bar.

E. McPan said...

Yeah, if I were her parents I'd be concerned about her mental health, too.

Wow. Just wow.

Blonde Justice said...

Sancho, she said it was a woman RECEIVING oral sex. Quit being so selfish!

And I'm dying to know what song!?!