Not quite being at the point where I can coexist peacefully with the burgeoning wrinkles under my eyes, or the (GASP!!!) dreaded vertical wrinkle emerging from my upper lip (only grandmas have those!) because I am only 27 damnit, I figured I'd start accusing.
Hereinafter, every blemish shall be labeled. Did you ever have a family member or teacher that did that? One that used gray hairs as a consequence of bad behavior? Like somehow, my misbehaving or anxiety-inducing behavior influenced my mother's follicles.
"I can't help you stay out of jail if you're so damned insistent on finding your way back in" = wrinkles under left eye.
"I can't help you stay out of jail if you insist on never keeping your appointments with me or returning my calls" = wrinkles under right eye.
"Telling me that I'm on the DA's side and I suck and I ain't fightin' your case and I'm a worthless piece of shit" = wrinkle above lip
"Being accused by the DA of being deceptive and / or sneaky for requesting what my client is owed pursuant to the U.S. Constitution" = I imagine I must be sprouting a gray hair or ten for that. I mean, I don't have any that I know of, but seriously, I owe an entire post to this discussion, because it happens so often that I am incredulous and mind-boggled. Today, I was accused of using this "tactic." Choke. I'm sorry. Did you really just call this a 'tactic'? I'd call it "due process" or "a fair trial" but whatever. If that's sneaky, then count me in.
I do believe that my employer should reimburse for beauty maintenance expenses. Not that I do any beauty maintenance. But damn, a look in the mirror today really convinced me that maybe I should. That wrinkle above the lip is scaring the bejesus out of me.