Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I think about you sleeping, how you'll miss that morning tide. But my stomach is uneasy, and I choose to stay outside.*

Things were quickly resolved after the last post and things picked up where they had been. 
Until now.
And so there's this issue, maybe two issues, not resolvable, but both deal-breakers.  Perhaps I haven't been as detailed as I should be in my dating adventures, but this roadblock is a new one.  I would LOVE to tell you what it is, because I can guarantee someone will finally make me an offer for that book deal or sitcom that should be made about my dating experiences.  However, it doesn't feel right to share it, and I've only shared  my consternation with two or three people, and I'm going to keep it there. 
So yeah, it's a dealbreaker, or at least it could be, but I haven't broken anything yet and can't quite bring myself to do it.  I wonder sometimes if other people are in relationships more than I am because they have a higher tolerance for Things That Aren't Quite Right in a relationship.  I can't figure out if I'm that type of person or not.  I think I'm not.  I'm conflicted because I like spending time with him and I find him attractive, but we don't click.  We don't really have conversations, we just sort of take turns talking.  We don't have much of anything in common.  Things are comfortably casual.  I like seeing him, but I don't get butterflies in my stomach.  I haven't cut things off yet because I didn't feel like I had to.  But now that this new dealbreaker has come to light, and he's waiting to hear me say, I'm in or I'm out, I guess I may have to tackle this issue sooner than I expected.  How can I bring myself to say, "I like where we are now but realistically this is going nowhere"?  Damn it.
*Boom Bip, "The Matter (of our Discussion)"

1 comment:

Blonde Justice said...

Maybe you could try just saying "I like where we are now but realistically this is going nowhere"? Take it or leave it, right? Because if he says, "That's not enough," you got what you wanted, to get out of it. And if he says, "Alright, let's keep doing what we're doing," then you can keep doing that for as long as you want to.