Thursday, February 24, 2005

Text msg battle: the aftermath.

There are times when I'm incredibly volatile. And then there are times when I couldn't give a sweet fuck about anything at all.

I suppose I should briefly describe the text message battle between myself and Mr. STF. It was basically a few msgs exchanged, mostly chit-chat and shit-talking. And it was all fun and games until he sent me a text msg with one word: 'weak.' And then, POW, BITCH GOES DOWN. I was PISSED. Drunk and PISSED. He called me a liar and then he called me weak. So anyway that just about ended that. I sent him an email, I suppose to make sure that I wasn't as pissed as I felt. He responded (yesterday, which is 4 days later) something to the effect of, "I knew that would get you ramped up, and it looks like I was right!" So it was all fun and games for him.

I had a long conversation with a friend of mine last night. She is remarkably insightful and has a way of speaking that makes me UNDERSTAND. I was rambling on and on about how I feel like I'm in this constant power struggle, and now I have to craft the perfect, friendly but cool, delayed response to his email.

Me: [Rambling incessantly]
Her: It sounds like he was just kidding around.
Me: I know! I hate it! I hate playing these stupid games.
Her: Maybe you're trying to learn the rules of a game that he's not even playing.
Me: [silence]
Her: What's in it for you? What are you getting out of this?
Me: I need to stay close to people I meet across my life, there's just something about me, that I can't let go after I meet people and enjoy their company. I may not speak to them or see them all the time, but I keep in touch with EVERYONE. And if I go back to City next year, I want to be able to hang out with him. I don't know if we'd date again, but I think we'd hang out.
Her: It sounds like, if you decided to pick up and move there 6 months from now, you could call him or write him, and he'd be happy to hang out. The foundation's there. It doesn't sound like it needs much maintenance.

She's so right. She is SO. RIGHT. So I emailed him today. I didn't worry about waiting the right number of days, or editing everything I said so I sounded witty and infinitely cooler. We're friends. He asked what I was up to. I told him.

How liberating.

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