Monday, February 14, 2005

Grammy commentary

Generally not a fan of awards shows, but I tuned in to the Grammys last night because Kanye West was up for 10 nominations and was going to be performing. I made a chicken and black bean enchilada casserole for the roommates, with apple crisp and vanilla ice cream for dessert. (I've completely fallen off the foood & exercise wagon. Need to climb back on. Today. After I eat this dark chocolate hershey's kiss.) Here's my analysis:

New artist: Kanye was robbed. I was ready to storm the Grammys myself. Maroon 5 should have been at the bottom of that list. Their songs make me ill. Violently.

Compilation Soundtrack: I'm not sure how relevant this category ever is, until this year, and Garden State is of course, hands-down, the only choice. It's a damned good album. To wander off on a tangent here - I fell in love with The Shins' "Oh Inverted World" CD and my fave songs were Caring is Creepy and New Slang. Then the Garden State soundtrack burst onto the scene, and those were the two Shins songs on the CD. I fell in love with the soundtrack. Finally, on Saturday, I actually watched Garden State, and Natalie Portman was all, "This song will change your life," and I was pissed, because it totally DID change my life, and I told others it would change theirs, before I ever saw Garden State, and it's clear that she totally stole my line. Next category.

Worst.performances.ever. :
The first time I yelled at my TV: J.Lo and Mark Anthony's performance. It was SO BAD. Dude, I didn't even understand what they were saying, but I did understand that it sucked. Badly. Totally cheesy Disney World love song on a stage bedroom? Barf. Profanities were hurled in the general direction of the television.

The second time I yelled at my TV: The Tsunami relief effort song was a world disaster in its own right. At first, my roommates and I were silenced, bewildered by the wretchedness being witnessed. After about 15 seconds, when we realized the song was not getting any better, profanities were hurled en masse in the general direction of the television. I repeatedly offered Brian Wilson et al money to just SHUT YOUR FUCKING HOLE in the name of all that is charitable, but they refused, and kept singing, or shaking maracas (how far you've fallen, Steven Tyler), or whatever. As if I would want to pay 99 cents to iTunes to own that wretched piece of noise, even if it did mean a child would go hungry. I particularly enjoyed when Stevie Wonder and Norah Jones stepped forward after the song to present the next award, and Stevie Wonder rightfully redeemed himself, calling the artists behind him suckers (not in so many words) by singing a little ditty. He restored some street cred with me.

Best awesome amazing performances: The Janis Joplin tribute by Melissa Etheridge and Joss Stone. Holymotherofgod. So good. Melissa, girlfriend, who knew anyone undergoing chemo could belt out tunes and look so good doing it? The Bonnie Raitt tribute to Ray Charles was equally amazing. That woman gives me chills when she rocks out.

Other good things: Usher is an amazing performer. The Southern Rock medley was cool - I love Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Allman Brothers.

Heartfelt moment: Um, Kanye, you silenced the auditorium when you got up to accept your award. Sniff.

to the dude from the Grammys who spoke for a good 120 seconds - you got more air time than Ray Charles himself, who WON THINGS. No one likes you and wants to hear you beg for us to buy that 99 cent piece of crap manufactured for the Grammys and tsunami relief. get off the stage please. Now. How about now. Or now. Now? Please? Go. Leave. Stop. Are you really still speaking?

Jay-Z - glad you won for 99 Problems. Great song. To be frank, I did believe that "The College Dropout" was a much, much better album than "The Black Album" so I don't feel bad about that. But you're still Jay-Z.

And kudos to Queen Latifah. You are so very cool.

I'm not award-shows savvy, so can someone explain to me 1. why so much of the night was spent remembering dead people? Does that happen often, that every set is a tribute to someone who is dead? And it took me a while to catch on, but almost everyone was wearing black and white all night to perform. Is there usually a color theme?

What did you all think?

1 comment:

notguilty said...

I never, ever watch awards shows. Ever. Especially since the Grammy's were on at the same time as TWO simpson's episodes and the best show of all time, Family Guy.

So I am of absolutely no use to you. I seriously am a pop culture idiot.