Recipe: Salmon

'Womanofthelaw Goes to the Kitchen' presents the recipe for Lemon Butter Dill Salmon:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. I think.
2. Take salmon out of fancy fish paper. Place in dish.
3. Cover with Lemon Butter Dill fish dressing from bottle.
4. Cook 10-15 minutes.

Lest you think this looks like a no-prep meal, let me assure you there was preparation. It began this morning when I finished my workout and stepped on the scale at the gym. I've been shaving a few minutes off my workouts since things have been hectic the past few weeks, and have also missed a few days. Also, I lost my trusty Nalgene bottle and had pretty much stopped drinking water. This week, however, I had gotten back on track with water and workouts and so when I stepped on the scale, I was surprised to learn that I had gained 64 ounces. Now, we all know that weight fluctuates, la dee da, but I was not happy. Weight should be going DOWN goddamnit, I don't haul my ass out of bed at 6 am because it's fun.

What kind of healthy meals can I prepare for myself this week? I've slowly been experimenting with fish. I've avoided eating fish since my youth, but I've recently discovered that I love asparagus and fresh brussel sprouts, so why not give fish a try? I generally leave fish to the restaurants, but I figured now's as good a time as any to try cooking some myself. Besides, the cook's corner at the grocery store made a mini-meal with salmon and it was SO DAMNED GOOD. So I circled around the fish counter with my cart (filled with toiletries: 3 face washes, eye makeup remover, soap, toothpaste, razors) and finally marched up to the expansive display case. A nice man asked if he could help me, and I confessed it all. I've never cooked fish for myself before. I'm taking it slow. I want salmon. Like a good fish coach, he told me to start with baking it in the oven. Soothingly, authoritatively, he introduced me to the lemon butter dill bottle. He handed it to me, told me to put it on the salmon, and bake the salmon at 375 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

"What other kind of fish do you like?"
"Um, well, I know I like tuna steaks. Cooked by other people."
"Next time you come back, we'll try something else. You can blah blah cod blah blah haddock blah blah swordfish blah blah grill, it's really easy."

He said other fish names that I don't remember now, but I enjoyed making a fish friend.

My critique of the 'recipe':
- I hate dill. Unless it's a pickle. In which case I can pretty much eat a whole jar. See, e.g., last weekend; cf. aforementioned 64 ounce weight gain.
- Um, it was good at first. Not GREAT, but fine. Then I didn't want anymore. I will probably not make it again. I think I need a different taste.
- Idiot-proof? Yes. I think. So far. If I come down with rickets or botulism (ok, ok, food poisoning) then this recipe will be retracted.

Time for *cough* Joan of Arcadia *cough*. Shut up. If you can't preparty with God, who can you preparty with?