1Ls are fucking crazy.

You have the textbook, the 200 page study guide by the textbook's author, but now you've decided that YOU CANNOT REST until you have the commercial outline by the textbook's author?

You will resort to already jealously commenting on journals and moot court, who will do well, who will not, and how everyone else will end up in the 6th layer of hell for not being EIC of at least one law review.

You are going to surround me, an unwitting and mildly hungover 3L in the library, as I am madly trying to dash off a response paper so that I can spend the next 10 days furiously struggling with writing a 30 page paper. After surrounding me, you will then proceed to talk in an outside voice about what firms you will be applying to. You will speak of these firms in regards to practice areas, their size, what they are known for. You will mispronounce just about every name on the list. You will say that this firm is a large presence in the San Francisco area, but I know they have an office of 7 attorneys. You will oooh and aaaah over what top 3 law school one must go to in order to get an offer from THAT firm. You will continue to mispronounce the names.

You are going to pick your 2L summer job interviews excitedly, like you were looking through brochures of a vacation package, instead of steeling yourself for the commitment you're about to make, a commitment that you might not have been willing to make before, but maybe you are now, because it pays so much money. And really, after that, you can GO ANYWHERE and DO ANYTHING. (P.S. That's a lie. Trust me.)

And here I am, in the library, sadly and unenthusiastically wrapping up my last few weeks of class by just trying to squeeze through, and I can't believe that I was once a 1L too.

Thank God I've recovered.