Thursday, January 05, 2006

customer service my ass

I had to call a financial services company to look into organizing my retirement accounts.  I was given a toll free number to call, so I called it.  I don't currently have an account with this particular company, but since I know people who work for the company, I figured why not them?  When I called the toll free number, it prompted me for my social, to access my account.  Knowing very well that I don't have an account, I dialed 0#.  It told me that it didn't recognize it, then lectured me on why it was important to punch in my number so a rep could better assist me.  After trying to make the lecture end (unsuccessfully) I finally just punched in my number, then #.  Then it told me it didn't recognize my number, so I tried again.  It still didn't recognize my number, and refused to acknowledge anything else I tried to press or yell into the phone.  I was perplexed.  How can I call them to open an account if I need an account to call them?  So I found another phone number on the website and called that, then had to wait FOREVER to be transferred.  The wait itself didn't bother me, but then when I was advised 1. by the person who did answer and 2. the person to whom I was transferred to call THAT 1(800) number from now on, I told them what I did and how I tried. 
WOTL:  So if I have questions about this paperwork, which number do I call then?
Rep:  Call [number].
WOTL:  I tried that earlier, and it asked for my social, and then didn't recognize it, because I don't have an account.
Rep:  Ohhhh, ok.  Well yeah, go ahead and dial 0#.
WOTL:  I tried that too.  It still wouldn't let me talk to a person.  Then it lectured me.
Rep:  Yeahhhhhhh, well, you can go ahead and call that number again, and just keep trying until you get through.
WOTL:  Yeah, but I tried calling, it wouldn't let me talk to someone, and I don't have a number that will get the machine to give me a person!
Rep:  Yes, well, you can just keep trying to call that number, and keep trying until you talk to someone.  Just go ahead and dial 0#.
WOTL:  !!!!!!!
Let me get this straight - you're telling me to just sit here and punch numbers into a phone while the automated voice admonishes me about the importance of putting in the right number so it can pull up my account to better assist me?  And just keep doing that?  Over and over?  And this will solve my problem HOW?


Anonymous said...

And what do you think will happen when the government takes over the health care system? Also, if you need an attorney, visit my site:

Mr. Vasquez said...

This is too funny, just relax and breathe. Things will work out, you're not retired yet so you have time...

Sanchovilla said...

At this point, the only thing I'd be pressing is a cold pint of Guiness to my lips.

Sorry..just wanted to throw my 2 cents in.

notguilty said...

you know what, I think you'd better contact injuredintheusa because when the government takes over the health care system, your retirement account will. . . hmmm. . does that relate at all?

Send customer service an e-mail telling them you are taking your money that you don't yet have elsewhere.

Audacity said...

I think you should send them a nasty email.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you Instant Message a Rep? That is often the easiet way to get their attention. Check it out at the website.

Melissa said...

I hope you got that person's name because I'd totally be tattling on them for that line of BS

Windypundit said...

LOVE the new tagline. I only just noticed it.

Pissant Lawyer said...

And the worst part of it all is that you are trying to send them business (1). The best part of it all is that the older you/we get, the more quasi-sociallized morons will be staffing the companies that we are trying to call, so this experience will be repeated. I can only posit that the customer service rep ended the call with the infuriating "Is there anything else I can help you with today?" I am sure that you are tired of the standard, "Well, you did not help me at all, so I don't think so." I have moved on to the following:
1. Not today, but I'll be painting on Saturday, so please show up at my house.
2. Help me with something else? You are kidding, right? Tell me you are kidding? You are serious? Well, then, get your Wayback Machine to transport me 25 minutes back in time to the moment before I called your stupid dumb@$$ company.

(1) I reviewed documents for a bank being investigated by the SEC. In their presentation materials, they touted their experts' skill, know how and financial acumen as reasons to give them your business. In their annual reports, they cited market conditions, global anything and terror everything as reasons for the economic downturn. I wondered, if they were so smart, why didn't they prepare for, plan for and get ready for it all? When returns were good, it was their skill. When returns were bad, it was because of the market, and "Everyone took a hit."