Having today off, I decided it would be as good a time as any to try and comport my ethics to those of, um, whoever creates this evil test. I woke up a little later than usual, but was still at the gym early, came home and had a healthy breakfast, and proceeded to the coffeeshop to settle in. I figured I had this down. After taking my first practice test, in which I answered 31 of 50 questions correctly, I realized I was doomed to fail. I panicked. Then ate a late lunch. Then took another practice test, this time scoring 39 of 50 correctly. Panicked. Called a friend who assured me that was sufficient to receive a score of over 100 (I just need an 85 to get into the states that I need to get into). On a brighter note, Maryland doesn't require it. So there's that.
What have I learned from studying for this? Well, I learned that my fellow attorneys don't have to rat me out to the bar if I solicit hookers, possess marijuana, or drive under the influence. Even if I'm charged and convicted, I'll be a-ok. However, if I fudge my tax form or deposit my own money in my client's account, I will be disbarred and will go directly to lawyer hell when I die. That's the deepest level of hell, I think. I've also learned that no one knows what to do if you, as a criminal defense lawyer, have reason to suspect (or even know) that your client is going to lie on the stand. Every lawyer I've asked has answered me differently (I have to say, though, that I did enjoy hearing all the responses from actual practitioners, and will be sure to use each technique), and even the study guide has two different answers. Why? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that people get squeamish when confronted with the realities of our legal system. No one wants to hear that truth has no place in the courtroom. I am still convinced, however, that Justice would make a great tattoo.
I was feeling cute (albeit unethical) this morning, as indicated by the fact that I wore something other than sweatpants, and it's not even a workday! The first thing I did when I arrived to study - I dripped coffee down the front of my newly rediscovered shirt. I have a coffee curse. I thought it was limited to the coffee shop across the street from my law school. The lid doesn't seal on the cup, so it drips large amounts on one's shirt, unbeknownst to this adorably unethical law student. My coffee cup issues led to my invention of the 'coffee diaper.' The coffee diaper consists of an unsightly wad of napkins wrapped around the area where the lid meets the cup. The coffeeshop across the from the law school requires an inordinate amount of napkins. I had become far too cozy with lids that seal, because I haven't used the coffee diaper in months. I have huge coffee stains in inappropriate locations now. I, nevertheless, refused to change my shirt or retreat from public view.
After cheerfully succumbing to an utter lack of standardized-testable ethics, I went shopping for number 2 pencils and a new hip-hop CD. 25 year old white girl wearing a J. Crew coat, a coffee-stained Gap shirt, and Old Navy jeans marched right into the CD store and pondered the advantages of Nelly's "Sweat" vs. "Suit." The very hip multi-racial teenager behind the counter, responding to my comment that Nelly's "Suit" was recommended to me for my new workout CD, advised me that the CD would be best appropriate for making out with my man. Given the lack of man, I put it back on the shelf. She then led me to Twista, who I have to say, is pretty catchy. But Ja Rule has a new one, and Mase has a new CD and is allegedly sober. Any hints? I'm trying to pick between Mase, Twista, and Nelly's "Suit" (despite the advice from the much-cooler-than-me girl). I heart you, Kanye West, but I've had you for almost a year. I never buy CDs, but I have a gift certificate, and my adorable clients made fun of me incessantly for never listening to anything more than what's on the radio.
Colombia's army chief claims advances against rebels
I'd write more about why I care, but I think I'm going to bed now. We'll chat later.