Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Perplexing: 1 of 4.

I've been on a hiatus from dating since Memorial Day weekend.  I decided I need to stop and just shake off whatever vibes I had that were attracting troublesome men.  I have to say, it's been a pretty enjoyable summer without the stress of dating.  I got to July 4th and realized, wow, it's been a while, why not go all the way to Labor Day?  And with Labor Day approaching, it seems that I've almost made it.
I am at a loss to explain how it is, then, that I have attracted the attention of (almost) all the wrong men in the past two weeks. 
It started with my favorite bartender.  I love him.  I adore him.  Sometimes I stop in just to say hi.  He is a very bouncy, affable, friendly guy.  He has always remembered my name and what I drink.  I occassionally give him a hug, recently a kiss on the cheek.  My intentions were always platonic, since he's older and I assumed he was married.  I stopped by the bar to say hello to some coworkers but wanted to spend the afternoon shopping outside since it was so nice.  Nick offered me my regular drink, I declined.  Then he insisted on buying me a drink and offered all sorts of delicious frozen concoctions and, remembering my 'drinks with umbrellas' goal, I accepted.  I had two cocktails that tasted like pure magic and got me good and buzzed.  So I gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek and thanked him for taking such good care of me.
He joked, "When are we going on a date, WOTL?" and I chuckled.  Realizing that he was looking at me for an answer, I hurriedly answered, "Sure Nick, we'll hang out sometime."  Then, attempting to change the subject, I said, "What are you up to this weekend, Nick?  Any big plans?"  Anyone else in their right mind would realize that this is the ABSOLUTE LAST THING you should ask as a follow-up question.  But I still thought he was joking.  He turned around and handed me a napkin.  Oh yes.  It was his phone number.  Shit.
My coworker Jack, who is my partner in crime at the office, just rolled his eyes when I went back to my seat, all flustered.  "You press your boobs right up against the man's chest and expect that he's not going to try to get some?  Maybe you should STOP MAKING OUT WITH HIM if you don't want him to hit on you."  True that.  Note to self.  Stop being friendly and affectionate to men, even in a platonic way.
Installments 2-4 to follow.


CM said...

Nice, friendly bartender who you already know... why is he the wrong guy?

Sanchovilla said...

Note to self. Stop being friendly and affectionate to men, even in a platonic way.

What the hell? I've read nothing in this post that will help me understand why you could consider this as a viable option.

Whats wrong with a kiss on the cheek and some boobs on the chest? Thats just what friends do!

I can't WAIT for installments 2-4!

Jeff Deutsch said...

Hello WOTL,

I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding between you and the bartender.

I beg to differ though...you did in fact say yes to his offer to hang out, and then you asked him about his weekend plans. I consider myself to be in my right mind, and that's likely the exact follow-up question I would use if I were in your place and wanted to go out with him. Women quite commonly ask the "evening/weekend plans" question as an opener/followup with guys they're interested in.

By all means, continue being friendly to men (though you might want to reconsider your affection level), but also have both the courage and consideration to say no to guys you're not interested in. The sanity you save may be your own...and theirs.


Jeff Deutsch

PS: Keep fighting the good fights! We need more PDs like you out there. I don't know how you do it, but I hope you find the energy and self-confidence to continue.