Saturday, April 22, 2006

"spark"

I've been doing a lot of dating recently. I thought that getting to a point in my life where I was actually dating would be fulfilling. That's not actually true. What I did not realize is that, from a statistical / probability standpoint, it is more likely than not that the date will be less enjoyable than a night of "What Not To Wear" on the couch with the dog and a pint of ice cream.

I recently went on a date with a guy who was nice.

He was nice. And he didn't pay for dinner.

But above all, there was no "spark." I don't feel inclined to kiss him, or want him to kiss me. At what point does the existence or absence of "spark" become a dealbreaker? I am trying to decide, if he asks, whether I'll go on a second date. Should I give it one more try? Should I cut my losses early? Should it be more than that one factor in deciding whether or not to do a second date?

7 comments:

Fresh? said...

That depends, you want to pay for ANOTHER meal?

Audacity said...

I have a new found respect of not having the spark during the beginning of a relationship. It could come later.

But seriously.. the guy didn't pay for dinner? On a first date?

Nunzia said...

hmm... i wonder if it would be to fwd to ask his views on dating... maybe he had you both go "dutch" cause he likes to take things slow.. still, for me, that is a huge turn off if we are not already friends... but a second date can't hurt if you answered yes to fresh?'s comment...

Sanchovilla said...

Yeah, the not paying for dinner thing on a first date thing is still something I don't understand.

Maybe this is one of those Athlete's Foot type of guys.

He becomes a good friend, he hangs around with you all the time, then all of a sudden, one day down the road, you realize he's really grown on you and you just can't ger rid of him or stop thinking about him?

Or not.

I'm personally a big fan of kicking it on the couch with the dog and a pint of ice cream.

HarvardFirm said...

You feminists are all alike--want to be all equal up until the point where the guy makes you pay your share for dinner.

Moi said...

Trust me. Don't.Forego.The.Spark. You need sparks now at the beginning, since I can virtually guarantee you that after 5 years of marriage, you'll be lucky if you can ignite the flame with a vat of gasoline.

Get the sparks while you can! And, tell me all about them, in great detail, please!

la lawyer said...

I'm a firm believer that if you don't have a spark to start with, it's not going to develop later on, I think those things only go in one direction.