another heart-melting non-date

We were in the first row of the third balcony, which meant we had to lean forward a bit to see the stage through the railing. He and I were the only two in the front row. The balcony was dark but for the bits of light cast from the stage. The comedian we were seeing was great - I laughed the entire time. About two-thirds of the way through the show, I was laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt, and I heard him laughing next to me. At that very fraction of a second, I was about to link my arm through his and happily lean into his shoulder. I was startled by my own thought. Instead I turned to look at him and noticed that he put on his glasses when I wasn't looking. He has gorgeous eyes, a rich turquoise color, warm and reassuring, in a way that make you believe that he is sincerely only interested in what you are saying. I'm a sucker for glasses. Seeing his glasses framing his eyes, set against the dark brown curls of his hair, made me melt. It made me wish it could be more, but it gave me a pleasant hope that maybe there is someone out there with whom I will eventually link arms and kiss on the cheek.

I swore off this guy as a romantic interest after this incident but I'm failing to abide by my own vow. So now that you know who I'm talking about, how shocking is it that I saw him again, and heard his voice again, and melted again? We hit it off so well way back then, and we did so again that night. At his suggestion, we met up for dinner and beer before the show. I called him when I was in the neighborhood and he was just a block away from me. We agreed to meet at the corner. I walked toward the corner, trying to make it look like beauty just naturally exudes from me in my long, nicely cut red wool coat, with my shoulder-length hair bouncing off the shoulders and my cheeks red from the cold air. I was hoping I looked more like a Pantene commercial and less like I was so anxiously anticipating seeing him. As I approached the corner, I saw him peek around, and we saw one other. Too many people and too much distance still separated us. I couldn't help but smile at seeing him, and we both pretended to look away - but I saw him biting back a smile too. After an eternity I made it to the corner. We hugged, exchanged excited hellos, and moved on to the restaurant. It was perfect - we sat in front of the fireplace, had dinner and some good beer, and had such a good time that we lost track of time and ended up dashing out of the restaurant 8 minutes before we were supposed to be at the show. When we got there, we ended up waiting in line for an hour, outside in the freezing cold, shivering. After an hour of waiting, and mourning the loss of beer not consumed, we got into the theater, one of the last ones in line, and trudged through the historic old building to the tiny top balcony.

What I most appreciated about the evening was that it was not like that lunch in October but more like our previous interactions with one another. Our evening was filled with effortless conversation and an occasional comfortable pause. We get along well for no discernable reason. It's a great feeling, to feel so comfortable with someone that you feel like you know better than you actually do, while knowing that it's going to be so enjoyable to get to know all those things you don't already know. I like talking to him and trying to figure out on my own why it is I like him so much, to dig for a reason why we should get along so well.

Once out of the theater, we rushed to catch the train. As we cut through the cold wind, we agreed that it had been a great night. "We need to do this again sometime. We should definitely do this more often," he said. I'm so glad he suggested it. We were going in different directions. In departing, I instinctively gave him a kiss on the cheek as we hugged, and wished him a Merry Christmas. Right at that second, it seemed like the train station went into slow motion, like everything in the scene would have been black and white, and we were the only ones in color. Not in a passionate, "get in my bed" sort of way, but in a, "this is the guy that every woman wants to have as a best friend, husband, and father of her children" type of moment.

I like him a lot. I thought I had tried to let him know I was interested, and it never went anywhere before. I don't have it in me to try again, but that doesn't mean I'm still not harboring some hopes. If nothing else, it gives me a good idea of how I want to feel in a true relationship. I can't wait to hang out with him again, even if it does end this way every time.