Letter to self:
You are in a tizzy. You need to stop using your blog as a journal and go back to actually writing in your journal, like you resolved to do for the New Year. Unfortunately, your journal is at home when you most need it. Perhaps you should start carrying it around in your bookbag? That, and a treadmill? Perhaps a tranquilizer would be easier to carry.
Things that put you in a tizzy are: emails from BarBri pressuring you to CHOOSE CHOOSE CHOOSE a location or LOSE it; emails in response to your fellowship which, while favorable, raise questions that alarm you; emails from your professor regarding this case you're working on; phone calls from BarBri wondering what the hell you think you're doing and where.
Solution: Stop checking your goddamn email every 4.8 seconds. CLOSE THE MOTHERFLUBBIN browser and go back to tackling the mountain of reading for which you have to have a response paper written by tomorrow, in addition to a paper topic proposal. Once the mountain has become a molehill, then take a deep breath, re-open the email, and switch to non-classwork concerns. Address them via email, phone call, additional research or whatever, then close the browser, and return to classwork. Open Napster right now and start listening to Joss Stone, or Norah Jones, or Theivery Corporation, or the Buena Vista Social Club. Go to your happy place.
Solution #2: Quit doing hard things. This fellowship will not be easy, even if it were awarded to you. You complain about difficult things, but why are you always seeking them out? Knock it off already.
Solution #3: Quit. Everything. Period.
L'anxiouse squeal. (That's completely made-up but "Le sigh" just wasn't appropriate).