Tuesday, November 10, 2009

goings on

I won but not the way I should have or wanted to.  So I didn't feel good about the win, because it didn't feel right, although I think in the end I should have won for the right reasons.  There were many reasons I should have won, those just weren't the right ones.  How crappy is that?  I get a win and can't be happy about it, on principle.  But I suppose my opponent now knows a bit what it feels like to be a P.D. - to be on the losing side for the wrong reasons.

I am applying for jobs, more for geographical purposes than anything else.  This is a huge deal.  I do not feel ready for change, only because I'm scared.  I'm afraid that I'll end up without a job somehow, or that I'll feel as though I've made a terrible decision, or that I'm making decisions that bring me no closer to the right path.  I am totally and completely afraid.  Also, I am dismayed how many people want my law school transcripts or want me to write an essay about what life experiences I have that make me a good public defender.  Um, well, I am a public defender.  I've been a PD for 4 years.  I found that to be very good preparation for being a public defender.  I thought it would be easier to make a lateral move - but it's the exact same process, 4 yrs later.

1 comment:

Blonde Justice said...

Ack, applying for a new job always sucks and is scary. But it can't hurt to apply and see where it leads.

If you want, email me where you're applying, maybe I'll know someone.