1. will loudly hum a nonsense tune to try to drone out the anxiety. This coping mechanism is only used in certain nerve-wracking situations, and I've done it for years without really noticing that I did it.
2. look up apartment listings in another city. A specific city. A city you would not consider an answer to the question, "If you were to quit your life and go somewhere else, where would you go?" If I told you the answer, you'd probably give a short laugh and say, "Random." This is my getaway plan. An escape plan. Plan B. When I'm unhappy, I look at apartment listings and fantasize about what my life would look like there. I derive a lot of comfort from knowing that at any time, I could end this, I could walk away from it, that I'd be strong enough to do it. Strange thing is, I don't think that's what I want at all. Not sure why I enjoy the fantasy so much.