torn

I got not one, but TWO wedding announcements today.  On top of the three weddings I'm attending this wedding season.  I had a great night being single and drunk though, despite the fact that everyone else is paired up and sober.

 

Single drunkards, rock on.

I have no shame

Today I had a 'first' in my professional career.

 

There is a critical witness who can completely exonerate my client.  I don't have detailed contact information on him, but I have a ballpark estimate.  So I put my card on the door of every. single. door. in the area.  And then posted a ghetto-ass scribbled note where everyone in that area has to walk by to see it, asking for witnesses to call my #.

 

It's a bit embarrassing, the method, but if it works then it's worth it, and if it doesn't work then at least I know I did all I could, and didn't let shame get in the way.

 

 

theme song(s)

If I had to pick one song in general, it would be "Hard Luck Story" by Whiskeytown.  The tagline of my blog heading is actually a line from that song.  It's a fun song.

 

If I had to pick a song that played every time I walked into a courtroom, it would be "P I M P" by 50 Cent.

 

If I had to pick a song that played over the closing scene of my work day, it would be "The World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies.

 

If I had to pick a song that played as I walked down the city streets on a night out, it would be "Dancin' With Myself."

6 yr old felon

Slate has this article on a 6 yr old kid who was ARRESTED and CHARGED WITH A FELONY for having a tantrum in class.  And even better, as far as I know, the charges have not been dropped.  If you look at the document, the kid was actually, really and truly, put in jail. 

 

It seems absurd and out of the ordinary, but childhood has been criminalized everywhere, everyday.  I cannot even begin to count how many times I've represented an adolescent sibling because their younger brother or sister called the police, saying they got in a fight.  And this isn't any unusual fight, where there were knives or anything involved.  Nope.  Just regular old arguing, sometimes some wrestling or pushing, and sometimes taking the other's property.  And the cops actually arrest people for that, and the DA never ever ever dismisses those cases.  It is happening all the time and no one seems to see how completely fucking absurd it is.  The judge issues orders of protection so the kid can't go home, the DA won't dismiss the case so the kid has to take a plea, and the cops are happy to arrest 16 yr old girls for pushing her 11 year old brother after he broke her cell phone.

 

NO ONE IN THE COURT THINKS THIS IS SILLY!  THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!  I only wish I could say it was unusual.  Unfortunately, the police and the courts are happy to criminalize this behavior.  I only wish you knew how often this happened. 

 

And to the school officials?  Shame on you.  You should not be in childhood education. 

I can be a homeowner!

I wa putzing around today on Yahoo's How Much House Can You Afford? calculator.  Curious, I decided to give it a whirl.  I put it my before-tax income, my loan and credit card payments, and $0 down payment.  No other expenses were taken into consideration.

 

The result?  I can afford a $-442 mortgage payment and $0 worth of house.  That's right, that's a negative mortgage payment.  I love mortgages where they pay YOU money every month!  How fun!  You know what these numbers mean, right?  THE GOVERNMENT OWES ME A HOUSE.

Monday Musings

I've been interrogated without counsel and no one read me my rights, over at PD Stuff's Monday Musings. 

 

I am this week's featured guest, which means that you should let me off the hook for not posting for some time. Over at PD Stuff, you can read about why I became an attorney and how I came to learn a stranger's feelings for women's vaginas. 

stuck

I've started half a dozen entries and ditched them halfway through.  There are things I'd like to write about but can't seem to write about them correctly. I wanted to tell you why I decided to become an attorney, I wanted to tell you about the guy at the bar who told me his feelings about women's vaginas, I want to tell you about some interesting cases I have right now, and I want to tell you about how I've been enjoying my personal time.  When I sit down to explain it, it all comes out so dull and unfocused. 

 

So, my apologies.  But I'll keep trying.