Sunday, August 22, 2004

Closing that chapter.

My last night was Friday the 13th. I packed up my car and headed to Mr. Wonderful's house, where I was to spend my last evening in the city. Our whirlwind courtship had hit some uncomfortable moments for a few days, but by Tuesday and Wednesday, things were better than ever. We had a wonderful date on Wed night and Fri night was the night of the Final Date. The Final Date was perfect. We went to the neighborhood pub, watched the Red Sox, two of his wonderful friends joined us there. We then moved on to play pool, but first battled wits in a Connect Four tournament while we waited for a table. We played two rousing games of pool, Battle of the Sexes style. As he shit-talked me during the pool game, he leaned over and absent-mindedly kissed my cheek, mid-sentence. As we walked up the stairs to exit the bar, he put his hand on my lower back to usher me by. These small gestures of affection demonstrate a sense of intimacy and comfort that I knew I would miss so much. Our courtship had been so smooth and effortless. It was as though we had already known each other and were just working on knowing each other better.

The rest of the evening we spent by ourselves. It was comfortable and romantic. We talked, we kissed, he made me laugh. In the morning, he very sincerely and abruptly told me that he was going to miss me. He assured me that we'd see each other again sometime. And then I drove away without looking back.

As I realized I was driving down this major avenue, past all of these landmarks, for the last time; that this was the last time I was going to drive away from his house; that this was the last time I'd be in this city; that this was the last time I'd see my wonderful clients again - I cried. All the way down the road, through every stoplight, past every landmark. I sobbed loudly, shoulders shaking, tears streaming, wondering why I couldn't just stay, just as I was, in that city, with that job, and those people? I was exactly where I wanted to be, and I was ready to stop moving on.

After about five minutes, I arrived at the highway. I wiped my tears, sniffed a few times, squared my shoulders, and moved on.

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