Over the past two months or so, I've developed a truly unbelievable caseload. I bet all public defenders say that. But I have the most bizarre assortment of headache-inducing, logic-defying, clients-who-I-no-longer-even-represent timesucks. Where does the time go in a day? I'm afraid to answer my phone or check my messages, because I'm over a week behind in returning phone calls. I'm doing triage, putting out fires, for former and current clients, and it's hard to do when I have 20 cases scheduled per day in court. Every case presents a new and bizarre twist, and juggling so many of them, I can hardly keep them straight.
I've been bemoaning my fate to all who will listen, and by listen I mean, not run away when they see me coming. When consulting a colleague on a case that involved a former client of his, I weakly cracked an exasperated joke about the defense of absolute innocence that all of my clients seem to be invoking lately. You know, the "every single person made up every single detail of that story," type of defense.
He responded cheerfully, "Don't fret. You're going to promoted to the Innocent Defendant's Bureau soon!"
Ha. The Innocent Defendant's Bureau. I like it.